These Walls

Ok. So I'm almost positive that I didn't make the show, even though I had a kick-ass audition. Not getting called back just made my whole day suck. Not seeing my name on a stupid piece of paper ruined my day. Is there something wrong with me? Do people not like me in the drama department? I worked so hard at my audition. I put everything into it. It was me and one other person who were pacing back and forth, practicing. He got called back. Why didn't I????? I feel like I'm about to cry. But it's not just the fact that I'm not in the play. It's the fact that I may not be getting anything for Christmas, because all I want is an acoustic guitar. And from the looks of my dad, I'm not getting one. Sure I'll get a gift card from my grandma and Cd's from my brother, but...I don't want those. I want my acoustic guitar.

Be Kind To People

Oh Gillian

So I auditioned for a play yesterday and I think it went pretty well. Aside from the fact that I was nervous. I really want to get into this show. I mean, I miss being on stage so much. But I also know that there are other people in the drama department and want this just as bad as I do and if they get in, they deserve it. Josh said I got the right idea by saying that. I hope he's right. I won't be too sad if I don't get in, cause I'm already in ITS. I found out yesterday that I have 12 ITS points and I need 10 to get in. Some people in the drama deparment don't think I should be in it because I'm not a good actress. Well, that's just what one person thinks, and I'm not gonna let that bring me down. I don't know if I even want to go into theatre, I just want to write. I'll write scripts. But Jesus, if anyone knew what I had locked up inside of me, I'd be a star.

Be Kind To People

Uncle Bills

Ok, in the past week, I've gone to Uncle Bills three times. It's not a bad place, they do have good food there. I just don't want to become a regular there, ya know? I think I will end up being one, just because it's a cheap place to eat. Man...I need a job so I can eat better...ish.

ONLY 1 MONTH TILL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Sorry...


Be Kind To People

The Circle Game

I just realised something. The only friends I have, are Steph and Phil. Mostly Phil, cause he's the one I see the most. Which is weird cause he doesn't even go to school with me. Oh well. I think I'm gonna go with him to this thing at the Y just so I can meet new people. That should be fun. I love hanging out with Phil, even if I do lose in bididdle when I play with him. lol.


Be Kind To People, not just your friends.

Tofurky

Things I'm Thankful For:

1. My brothers, Ryan and Todd. Without them, I think I wouldn't have turned out so bizarre, but that's what makes me me.

2. My friends, Phil, Steph and Ben. I love them with all my heart and I would do anything for them.

3. My parents, Jim and Barb. They may not be the most supportive parents, but they're still there for me if I need them.

4. Food and a home. Not many people can go to bed at night with a full stomach or even sleep in a home. I'm so thankful that I am so privileged that I can have these things, and help those who don't.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wow

It's not even 11, and I've managed to upset my mom. Like she's never said hurtful things to me before.

Thanksgiving Eve

I really wish I had more friends. But I have a lot of friends, just friends that don't hang out with me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with me....right? I know I've been bitching about this a lot, but going out there and trying to make friends doesn't help me. God. I wish Steph and Ben would answer their phones once in a while. That would make my life so much easier.

Fish Club?

Ok. So, I got invited to go to the Jesus club at my school. I kninda wanna go, but then again...I don't. They won't tolerate my beliefs there. They'll think I'm from a cult or something just because I'm a UU. Oh, well. I think I'll just go anyway just to see what it's all about.

Be Kind to People.

Hmmm

After reading the To-Do List blog, I figured I should make a list of things that I would like to do before the end of this year. Yeesh. That's only like, 2 months. Make that the end of 2008. Ok, Here it goes.

Bailey's List of Things To Do Before The End of 2008

1. Learn how to play one song on the bass.
2. Go to Chicago for Spring Break.
3. Make 5 new friends at Con and keep in touch with them.
4. Get my license.
5. Go to Geneva Illinois and see Chirs, Eric, and Dillon at least once over the summer.
6. Get a job
7. Finish writing my book.
8. Lose at least 10 pounds before junior year.
9. Find glass beads that can be used to make hemp necklaces/bracelets.
10. Go to at least 10 concerts/shows.

Wow! 10 things! I think I can handle that. I'm already going to a show on Sunday then I'm going to go see Ludo at the end of December, so that's 2 right there.

Ok, I can do this.

Be Kind To People

It's Red Again!

Ok, I was at Starbucks today to get a pick-me-up, and instead of the way they see it, they have ways to spread holiday cheer on their cups. The one I got made me happy, so I thought I'd share it!

Pass The Cheer...
A good way to pass the cheer when you're on the road is to pay the toll for the car behind you. Do this and you might start to look at stoplights as holiday lights instead. Red means stop and be thankful for a moment. Green means go out and do nice things!

Be Kind To People!

You Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone...

Man...I hate English but at the same time, I love it. I love having discussions in class, but I hate writing essays about nothing! I have one that's due tomorrow and I think I might explode if I don't get it done by 10 tonight.

Be Kind To People

OH!

I'm thinking about posting some of my stories on here, just to see if people like them. Let me know if you think I should!

It's Just Not The Same Since You Went Away...

Geez. A week ago, I was surround by people who love me and who actually cared about me. I was just on Facebook, and I saw all these pictures of my 'friends' having the time of their lives at Homecoming and on Halloween. Was I in any of those pictures?? Nope. One of my 'friends', Kerry, said that he's tried to call me to do stuff with all of them. You know what I told him? BULLSHIT! My real friends are hours away from me. My real friends are at my church. My real friends actually like me. My real friends don't think I'm too headstrong and talk too much. My friend Chris said this after seeing my video I posted on YouTube about how much I miss him and other people. "I miss you too, if the next time I see you is tomorrow, that's still too long, but at least we can still talk to each other via the marvels of the internet." Chris is amazing and I miss him a lot. Same with Eric and Dillon. Only 145 days till I get to see them all again...

Be Kind To People

There's nothing wrong with me...right?

I miss everyone so much. No one at my school likes me, which really sucks. Everyone that I had made a connection with at Con is like, 5 hours away. I feel like the only place where I feel like I belong is at church and at Con cause I don't have to put a face on and I don't have to act a certin way. I can just be my self and I know nothing will happen and no one will look at me like I'm a feak. I can not wash my hair and not wear makeup for a weekend, and no one is gonna care. I didn't wear make up today, just because I didn't really feel like it. I honestly think that I won't be in a serious relationship until I'm in my 30s just because people don't like me. If I were to act myself, I would have less friends then I already do.

I think I'm gonna do some yoga later, that'll help me...I hope...

Be Kind To People

When I Watch You...

*sigh*
Yesterday kinda sucked...expect for the fact that Dillon called me!!! OMG. I miss him soo much. He called to tell me that he hasn't forgotten about me and I thought that was really sweet. I'm gonna call him tonight. I told him that he needs to come down here and see my new hair cause I just got it cut. I'll probaly see him, hopefully, in March. If not, it'll be in April. I'm not so sure if I can do that...

Man...I think I got the 'Con Cold'. But this feels more like a fever or a sore thoat, not a cold. I feel like total shit. My thoat is burning and my head is warm. Does anybody know what's going on with me???


Be Kind To People

You're Awful, I Love You

God. I'm missing Con like no other. I'm aching to see everyone again, but that won't be till next April. The first weekend of April to be exact. I hate feeling like this. It sucks cause I'm stressed from school and the play, even though I'm not in it. I miss everyone so much and it sucks cause some of them don't have Facebook so it's not like I can go and talk to them on it. Most of the people that really touched my life live 5 hours away, so it's not like I can drive up there to see them whenever I want.

I'm in such a Dashboard mood from this. I feel asleep listening to them yesterday. It was the only thing that would help me cope with having to leave everyone yesterday.

Only 150 days till the next Con. I think I can survive. At least, I hope I can survive...

Be Kind To People.

CONtemplate

OMG! CON was amazing!!!

I had the best time this weekend. Not only did I get to meet some amazing people, I also gave back to my community. Man. I can't believe that 24 hours ago, I was cleaning up a garden so that little kids can grow stuff in the spring. It feels like it was so long ago that I walked to Forest Park and sat on the bridge, watching the leaves from the trees fall. I really wish Con could've been longer. 2ish days isn't enough time to get to know 200+ people. It wasn't even enough time to get to know the people in my touch group. I miss everyone already...

Be Kind To People.

Bio Class Blues

School is meh.

I can't wait for lunch. That's my favorite part of the day. I just sit and relax while talking to some really cool people.

I can't wait for school to let out so I can go work on the set for Lost In Yonkers. I just have to paint doors and such.

I can't wait to go home so I can pack for CON! I'm not sure what I'll bring, but It'll be cute.

I can't wait for tomorrow, cause then I get to go to CON! I'm most exicted about seeing my friend who I haven't seen since March, even though he goes to my church.

I think I'll post my poem that I wrote about the last Con I went to. But I'll do that when I get home.

Be Kind To People.